Saturday, January 31, 2015

The Shades of 'Errr'.....

Errr V1.0: "Mate, I think we need to postpone this shoot by a week or so. You don't seem to be in right shape at this point of time."- The Photographer presented an abhorred look as we posed in the front row with those placards in hand.
"Oh Hello Sir! What do you mean by 'right shape'? This supposed to be our only CSR shoot"- Our Associate Director, standing in the front row catechized.
"Sir Ji, we are supposed to cheer those little, deprived kids..."- He remarked, as his dreaded eye-balls turned to me, threatening to 'melt me down'..."And certainly not to scare them off with this filth."- He proclaimed and stooped down to pick up his instruments. 
"But what's the proble....?"- I was stopped mid-way through my avowal...I heard the 'decisive blow'.
"Pack up!!. Seems like we'll have to carry a crate of Face Washes every-time we come for a shoot in this office"- He scoffed. 

The Pimple Tale V1.0 : Source
Errr V2.0: "Oye, click a nice picture, no?"- I pleaded. And he kept ignoring my requests.
This is indeed the trouble with photographers...no-one wants to click their pictures; it's demoralizing rather...I have been angling for a "Perfect Facebook Profile Picture" for over a year now, the results haven't been encouraging at all.
"Come on man, this is almost like the tenth time that I'm requesting you...what's the problem? I never denied when you asked me to click your sister's portfolio and FYI I didn't even charge for that..."- I complained. I had every right to contravene; all my friend requests (on Facebook) are going to the social dustbin, I'm losing twitter and instagram followers at the rate of knots and this freaking guy wasn't even ready to cooperate. He didn't even bother to reply. As if all those blue ticks on my Whats-App screen were winking at me in fruition.
"Honestly Bol. Kitne Paise chahiye tereko? Man, even Avishikta isn't giving me any bhav these days"- I typed quickly; his conscious nescience was hitting me really really hard.
"Abey REPLY TO KAR!!"- I wish I could thrust my fists into the screen and grab his throat.
Raman...Typing.... (Finally)
"Mummy ko bol bazaar se tere liye accha sa Face Wash lane ke liye"- The cold, 'itching' response flashed on my screen. Sigh!

The Pimple Tale V2.0 : Source
Errr V3.0: "Sammya, I guess you should stay back and Raman should go in"- Boss declared. That was perhaps the weirdest thing that I have ever heard in my professional life so far. I mean seriously? Someone who hasn't even worked for this project is being sent in for the speech in-front of the CM? Doesn't he care about the company's reputation? We have had no client escalations till date, but one mistake could ruin the entire impression.
"Sir, I mean...I don't think Raman is the right person in this scenario...please try and...."- I tried to explain, but as expected, my 'enunciation' was cut short.
"Who's the boss? You or me?"- He flouted "We are supposed to click a picture with the CM and the Bengal Chamber of Commerce associates after the speech and that is going to be published in tomorrow's Economic Times. Are you aware of this? Of course not." - There was an air of unendurable sarcasm in his words. He was certainly exacerbated and the degree of severity was harrowing. But the big question was, why is this "camera" posing a treat every-time? I espouses when I'm behind the lens...but one thing is pretty evident, the number of 'favorable outcomes' drastically reduces when I'm in-front.
"Sir, where did I go wrong?"- I had asked him later, but the response that I got was almost like a scrunch, nothing less than a shattering blow.
"Try using a good quality Face Wash, might help in your future client interactions and successful business development ventures"- He silently articulated while flipping through the pages of 'The Economic Times'. His eyes lit up in the very next second.

The Pimple Tale V3.0 : Source
Oh hello, before you decide to close this window, let me churn out the obvious disclaimer!! This account is purely based on true events & doesn't have any added flavors; any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. If you have ever experienced humiliations of this order, please un-wind your 'conscience settings' & embrace the all new Garnier Pure Active Neem Face Wash with the ingrained bliss of real Neem Leaf and Tree Tea Oil extracts. It works wonders boss !!!


Disclaimer: This post has been written as a part of the "Garnier Pure Active Neem" activity, in association with Indiblogger. For more product related details and other utilities, please do visit Garnier's official webpage. Sounds Good? :-)
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